When it comes to socially awkward people like me, daily life is a real struggle! But it can get even worse when we try our hand at the dating game! See, we are not exactly clumsy in love. Despite being socially awkward, we live on bravely, accepting who we are, and always on the lookout for similar souls. However, if you want to date us, you must learn to understand our unique ways. If you can read through the entire list of the dating struggles of awkward people, you will surely love us! Please, love us!
We cannot stop praying every night and chanting whatever little magic words we know to make sure that this turns out to be something special. We will nod thrice to whatever you say and keep that Cheshire cat smile so that you know we are really enjoying ourselves in your company.
We forget that unlike us, you can pick up on signs like a normal human being because you are one! Image source. The first kiss is a phenomenon too strange for our socially awkward minds to work out! Whether to suck the air in or to breathe it out while smooching is like rocket science to us.
Maybe we are the only ones dreaming here! Or maybe this person is waiting for us to take charge and get the job done. Hasta la vista! Now, flirting for socially awkward people is a different saga entirely! Once I gave it a shot because I thought a stranger was waving at me, but it turned out that he was actually waving at his girlfriend sitting across the room and I was just in the line of sight!
That was the last time I made a move: the summer of ! What if someone flirts with us? Well, we need to notice it first, and second, we will not know whether to shake hands with you and introduce ourselves or maybe a fist bump is cooler nowadays. We will paw at you like you are some sandwich and we are a bear - a hungry bear. Hope you got my point. I can elaborate, you know! Suggested read: How not to be an annoying boyfriend on social media.
We might run an extra 15 blocks to avoid running into you if we are crushing on you. And our dancing skills, those are the last nail in the coffin of our non-existent love life!
How our pet had a serious bowel problem when we were five and other such gruesome tales are our favorite stories, and the only ones that we know! Yes, I am even talking about the casual see-ya-laters!
Dating a socially inept guy
We will hug you so tight to show you how smitten we are with you and might even strangle you to death in the process. Basically, we are like that dude from Waiting who could never ever pee in public! You still have time to run away! And what happens when our date goes to the bathroom?!!!
I think you have become too demanding of me. Yeah, we thought that was romantic! However, if you look at us, we will start rubbing our eyes so much that they turn red! We will stalk you on Facebook: read your status ates, re-read them, and look at all your albums so many times that we know the chronological order of your photos! Yes, there is a thin line of difference between a serial stalker and a socially awkward dater!
The former might even be a better option in case you are looking for love! If something does happen some night after we go out, we have no idea how to behave the next morning! We are kind of sure that you are going to leave us now and so we must make the first move and get moving! Our social awkwardness has always gotten the better of us, making us go crazy around the person we have a crush on. We also have no clue about being seductive. Pick things that cue your interest and learn about them.
Once you learn about who they are they will then feel intrigued to learn about you. When you wrote this you sounded genuine so be that guy, genuine people are warm and naturally inviting this will allow you to really be open to the possibilities of meeting someone of quality.
Don't forget that you do have your own self worth to be true to. Remember the guy you are. You will not be an Aspie, you will be a guy with a fantastic life a wonderful one day wife and you will have a syndrome. That's all Best of luck to you!
I wish you all the best! First of all, I would like to start by saying that I hope my advice helps you and that I'm sorry you had to be one of the people diagnosed with rger's.
Regardless, I believe that you can lead a happy life and even get into dating. At first, you might like to talk to women that are the friends of your friend or even a mutual friend. Online dating is really big in this generation so you might want to try that too. When you're on your date, you should learn how to let the woman talk about herself so you'll get to know her. Try to recognize at what facial cues or stories to react to in the proper way. You should also decide if this is a woman that you would want to see again.
Maybe on the first date you could tell her that you have a disorder but don't make it sound so serious. Try to be warm when you're talking to her. Also, you can practice some topics to talk about before the actual date.
Maybe even perform the date by yourself so you are sure it goes well. Finally, when talking, you should have a friend nearby.
Maybe you could learn some hand signals that your friend can perform when you are talking too loud or talking about something uninteresting. Good luck and remember: open her car door for her, talk about her, and compliment her whenever you feel necessary.
Think, dating a socially inept guy pity, that now
And don't let failed dates discourage you. Any women should consider themselves lucky for a man who is trying his hardest to overcome something that prevents him from being that much social.
Happy dating! The things listed above were just some of the things I got from Googling it [. Sign Up Now!
Sort Girls First Guys First. Lack of social skills can be cured but lack of empathy is a tough one because empathy is needed for a relationship to work. We all have feelings and limits and making callous remarks has dire consequences.
My advise would be to date other women who also have rgers. You need someone who can understand you and that you can understand. I don't think that you should fret about it and simply allow life to take its course.
I believe there is someone out there for everybody. There are 35 million women or more who are capable of getting you. I do not have rgers but on the contrary my social skills suck and I am extremely shy. I would be acting the role of somebody else and being me is an essential ct of being in a loving relationship.
To summarize Look for someone that fits in with you. Are you certain that it is rger's? Or is it "Love-shy" complex? You see, by technicality, I have been diagnosed as "borderline", but with emerging newer diagnosis, I am no longer diagnosed as "Borderline" because I do not have all of the tale-tale signs. However, I do have the tale tale signs of "Love-shy" complex.
I'd be the first to admit it. There are a lot of "fringe" studies on the Love-shy complex and quite frankly it is not widely accepted as a pathological mental status. Nevertheless, Your situation almost sounds like a form of love-shy complex. Those with rger's can have love-shy complex, but not all with love-shy complex have rgers. I do not whine about my situation, I take the logical approach.
I learned how to trick myself into getting over it by being a "Sneeky" type of person concerning women I am attracted to, by gaining intellegence about her. If she is single, figure out her likes and dislikes Wherein I may do something like; taking her to the next concert of her favorite band, or taking her to a restaurant where she can eat her favorite food Largely indirect, but somewhat effective.
Admittedly, I haven't dated in over 7 years, but the situation worked for my last 2 girlfriends The first of the two were a huge Rock fan, and prefers old school rock. I took her to a concert for Ozzy Osbourne My second one loves Karaoke and beer So we met at her favorite Karaoke bar in Nerima and had fun drinking and singing old Japanese Songs My advise for you is to develop a methodology.
You can develop a system that works for you. It is a matter of facing your phobia and finding it's weak point and attacking it at it's weak point. Also, my problem isn't with girls. It's with people in general. What types of situations do you think you have been in that were adversely affected by your Apergers. I ask because I wonder if you asked because you experience it, or were told you have itthat you are concerned.
Sound like very little is known about it and its tossed around too easily. You sound mature and intelligent as well. That is quite attractive and respectable in itself. You need to find a woman who is willing to work in things with you, and accept you for who you are.
Have hit dating a socially inept guy idea
She needs to know she cannot change you, just help you. IMO, all men and women have a touch of rger's when it comes to relationships and the oposite sex.
We don't all know what to do, or how to do it and it can be a real mess if both parties are not in it together and really trying to understand and accept eachothers differences. It's my relationship bible and I'm sure it would have some amazing tips and insights in it for you while you are looking for the perfect for you woman. Also, I highly suggest watching the movie 'Adam' if you haven't already. It's about a man with the same condition and the woman who fell in love with him and their trials.
You may also wish when you're ready to post yourself on a couple dating sites. Be honest and sincere. It may take awhile it can be a never ending search for people without this condition mind you to find the right woman, but it will get you out there, so to speak, and get you working on your new skills.
Your attitude is wonderful. I think you'll find someone a lot faster then the rest of us poor single slobs. I also have it.
I was diagnosed as a kid and an adult. I was very socially awkward in school and didn't have any friends until seventh grade. I've never had a girlfriend either.
Mar 24, The Socially Awkward Vs. Creepers. Being socially awkward is often held up as a defense against being labeled "creepy"; it's another variation of "it's only creepy if you're ugly", but with the vague hints of ableism or social justice for flavor. Almost everyone has been creeped out by someone out only to be told "Aw, he means well. Things You Need To Know About Dating An Awkward Guy He's a tough nut to crack. Michelle Cadieux 2 years ago. we heart it. Reducing all men to two extremes "nice guy" vs "bad boy", "alpha" vs "beta", "dominant" vs "submissive" is problematic. funny enough, this is the kind of thing that actually drives guys to act in manipulative and shady ways. Most dating advice is geared towards extroverts and outgoing types, so it makes dating for the socially awkward person a nightmare. The best advice is not to take that advice, do what feels right for you: socialize with a purpose, step out on your own so you can truly shine, and be where you like to be.
I've had a couple girls show interest openly but at the time I didn't know what to do about it. In a strange way, it's made me more socially aware. Probably because I had to learn my social skills by years and years of repetition.
You learn the same way you would learn mathematics or reading, lots and lots and lots of repetition. And it takes a ton of repetition to nail it down but the advantage is once you do, you'll understand it better than anybody. The disadvantage, though, is that all that repetition results in a lot of failure.
It's unavoidable. And if you're like me, growing up like that makes you introverted as all hell. It also makes you prone to depression which I've been dealing with for the last ten years and I think that's been just as damaging to my dating life as AS.
Starting out online is a great way to overcome that, though. This site has been a HUGE help for me. I've met a lot of girls on this site who are just great people to talk to.
It's really helped me out. I've also put up a profile on POF and with any luck it should get me going. That said, I've also read tons of PUA pick up artist literature.
How To Date A Shy Guy
I took an intense interest in it like only a guy with AS can. That also helped me a ton. It explained a whole lot of things that previously made no sense to me.
Like dating a socially inept guy excited too
It also helped me relate to and understand women better and let go of the bitterness I had towards them. Yeah rger's really can cripple your chances of success with women but if you decide to stop being bitter and do something better, you've taken the first step. I know you already chose and answer, but reading up on personalities and body language would help.
Being able to read people's faces and tell how they feel would totally give you an advantage. I have this guys book and it is a life saver. And, when I have the money I would love to try his home training thing.
Google Paul Ekman's face training and try the demo. PS- There are plenty of books you can find for free on non-verbal communication and body language that will help you understand people. I work in sales, and it has given me quite the edge. ZenSpace Xper 5. I also have been diagnosed with Asbergers and I also used to be socially awkward, especially when it came to women.
Read "The Game" by Neil Strauss. Its about a bunch of guys who teach classes on how to date, which actually work.
Its a true story. They break down everything from body language to tone of voice, etc Tell you how not to be perceived as creepy, and what people find fun.
Its very eye opening. Read it dude. My son Christopher has mild Aspberger's, and he knows it. He's in his own world read space-case He's just jumping into college life he's a freshman as though nothing is wrong. It's as awkward as you make it. People especially women at the college level can be understanding or critical. All you need to find is one! Or optimally several so you can have friends.
Louise Xper 6. I think you're being really hard on yourself focusing on awkwardness. Dating is awkward for anyone but I sympathize with having the challenge of Aspberger's. Were you diagnosed? Yes, you may lack empathy You will be surprised at how understanding people can be. I would get comfortable being in a group.
You are not a freak - You are someone with a challenge. We all have some kind of challenge and we learn to compensate. Be confident and do not let this condition rule your life. I'm sure you're a wonderful person with much to share.
Speaking, dating a socially inept guy you thanks for
Go slow. When you become comfortable - then you can ask for a date. You know, a student of mine with rger's syndrom recently started dating and aside from the rough patch he faced in weeks of the dating process with his girlfriend, she seems to be happy as a clam. You need to find a girl who is more on the calm, quiet side. Also, try not to give her ALL your information on a specific topic.
Dating a socially awkward guy - Rich man looking for older man & younger man. I'm laid back and get along with everyone. Looking for an old soul like myself. I'm a man. My interests include staying up late and taking naps. Find a woman in my area! Free to join to find a man and meet a man online who is single and hunt for you. Want to meet eligible single woman who share your zest for life? Dating tips for a totally socially inept guy with rger's. Any help would be appreciated Please.:) 8. Add Opinion. Most Helpful Guys. Anonymous +1 y. I have two suggestions: 1) Work on trying to get some good friends, if you don't already have them. They will help.
It's a little too intense.