Of course, everyone on the Internet took this in without even blinking, accepting that people are complex and varied in their desires and understanding that attraction is a complicated beast. We never see it in the media because nobody accepts the idea that it could happen and so like an oroborous with an eating disorder, the cycle perpetuates itself. Amazingly enough in the real world, models do sleep with mere mortals. Shockingly enough, attraction is about more than just whether you look good naked or not. Not, I would think, something most of us would find attractive in a potential partner.
We were on different pages as to longterm goals, hence the breakup. Leagues never had anything to do with it unless we let them. It's all about values and perception. The first phrase should read "unless the leagues tou mean are values and preferences". Sorry, this thing zapped half my phrase and I didn't notice. Thank you for the compliment. Just the phrase "[S]he's out of my league" carries with it a crapload of implied value judgments.
You and I are clearly a poor romantic match. So am I, as you tongue-in-cheek suggested, "out of your league" because I dunno, you're too prudish and jealous to handle something something evolved something something enlightened blah blah infinite love? Compatibility isn't some linear comparison between two numbers. It's an insanely complex interweaving of matched and mismatched personality traits, strengths and weaknesses, needs and desires, goals and aspirations.
I guess I get the desire to reduce all that complexity down to a simple sliding scale, but by its very nature, such a scale can only capture a thin slice of reality. Embrace the vast and unknowable complexity of it all, I say.
It's way more fun, if only because it's filled with so many possibilities. It makes my idiot-slapping hand start twitching. If someone thinks that way then they are an asshole. Adults should know better than that, and if they don't then they aren't worth your time.
Adults shouldn't need arbitrary rules not to take advantage of each other. No reason to fear the truth. The girls really are better than me if you want to slice it as better than me "for my exes," or better just in an objective sense, I don't much see the difference. If the people they move onto are better matches to them, and not in the objective sense that is important, because you can be a better match for may people in the world whether or not you think your are objectively "better".
Well, I think the difference is my exes are the only guys in the world willing to date me. If the only guys in the world who would date you can do much better than you, then it probably is time to examine your standards and make sure they are realistic. Your reasoning just became circular, your rebuttal is based on the premise. My comment was arguing that you are subjectively not as good for your exes which is ok because there are many people you could date who would find you subjectively awesome.
If they're your exes, then obviously they aren't actually in your league. If they were they wouldn't be exes. I can't understand your example. My mom is a hippy, artist non-housekeeper type who's uncomfortable in formal settings nor is she arm candy at nearly 60 My dad is a corporate lawyer who is the top of his field in our province.
They have been married happily nearly 30 years. There is much more to relationships than appearances and social status. My parents don't come the same social class or expected lifestyle at all but they are deleriously happy because they have other things in common. There are "leagues" in the sense that ot everyone is looking for the same thing in a partner, but they have little to do with anything except a person's individual criteria.
Also, your characterisation of successful lawyers seeking trophy wives to keep ousefor them is offensive to someone who grew up with those same successful big-time lawyers,few of whom fit that stereotype Most of them are looking for intellectually stimulating women who understand the pressures of the job, are successful in some way and love them.
Honestly, most real big lawyer parties now are catered and the housekeeper did the cleaning because the wife is a CEO or otherwise successful woman with little time for domestic affairs but enough money to pay for someone else to take care of them.
Honestly, I think most young Wall Street lawyers these days are slightly dorky guys who work too much, have too much student debt, and live in terror of losing their jobs. Or at least that's what all my classmates who managed to stay Wall Street lawyers are doing. They're more likely to be dating women who work than trophy wives, for sure. Most of them do better with women who are a little more goal-oriented than that, and I think the aspiring trophy wives of the world have their sights set higher.
I think there are people who maybe have that lifestyle and are seeking a partner like that, though. I just think it's probably a few more rungs up the economic ladder. Maybelikeold money people? On the talent thing, one really annoying piece of dating advice that short men get a lot is a reminder that Prince is only 5'2" tall and is sexy because of his talent. A lot of short men, including myself, interpret this as saying if your short and want to be succesful with the ladies than you need to have Prince's talent level and charisma.
My boyfriend is the same height I am, and I'm not a tall woman. He's not superstar-talented or Prince-famous, and he's mostly charismatic in the way that a foul-mouthed, opinionated bulldozer could be considered charismatic; he can be charming, but most of the time he's just honest instead. He has goals and hobbies and passions that make him interesting and showcase his considerable intellect and wit. He asked to find out more about some of mine so he could understand me better; I got to introduce him to Doctor Who and yoga, and in return, he introduced me to weightlifting and multiplayer real-time strategy games.
He treats me like a fully-human and individual person. He's also pretty popular "with the ladies" because he's a fun person who treats them like fully-human individuals, too. It's a thing he does to pretty much everyone, and it's many orders of magnitude more important than his height when it comes to how people perceive him.
I'm not saying his height hasn't been a disadvantage or has only had a trivial influence in his life - it's been pretty painful for him at times - but it's far from the most important thing about him or even the thing people notice first.
Dating guy out of my league
And yeah, lots of women flirt with him, and in my opinion, they're perfectly justified in doing so. He's smart, confident, opinionated, eloquent, open-minded, equal-opportunity in his respect for others, has a fantastic hundred-watt smile, looks great in a kilt which often IS the first thing people notice about himand is kind to kittens.
He's hot like that. I am 5'4" and my ideal date would be at or around my height, preferably no more than 5'10". Population generalizations are useless for predicting individual behaviors.
You could try being upbeat, pleasant, and charming, instead of defensive, defeatist, and self-defeating, and have a range of interesting things about that women find attractive and interesting. I spent ten or fifteen years desperately, pathetically single, and wondered why.
I was kind. I was occasionally charming. I was ostensibly pretty. As mentioned by E, I am a towering five-eight; thanks to lifting weights, I have developed some muscles, but nobody's going to mistake me for Dwayne Johnson; I look more like someone wrapped John Cryer around Bruce Willis with a hangover.
Be happy being you, and people will be happier to be around you. Would you want to hang around with someone who was always saying how much they sucked, how disappointed they were in their lot, and bemoaning what they didn't have? Christ, that's tedious. I wouldn't want to hang out with my younger self, either; that guy was an asshole.
I'm not saying my present self isn't an asshole, either, but I'm an asshole at peace with myself, though tthat doesn't mean I don't still have dissatisfactions and things I'm struggling with but they no longer define me.
Look, if you want to define yourself, you can't do it by negation, you need to do it by accretion. Fail better. Try different shit. Keep stuff you like, pitch shit you don't. Become an interesting person, with a perspective and some insights and an appreciation for other things; be kind when you're critical and critical despite your kindness when someone, of whatever gender, mentions something new.
You can be masculine. You can be androgynous. You can be tall or short, skinny or burly. Every human shape, as far as I can tell, has someone who's deeply, wickedly into it. If you want to appeal generally despite being abbreviated vertically, get to a gym and pick up some heavy shit; you'll take up more space physically as well as psychologically.
I can fill a goddamned hallway the day after I pick up five hundred pounds, because I'm confident, not because I'm three feet wide at the shoulders. All the short fellas I know who do well with women often Asian dudes for some reason have spent decent time in the gym bulking up and getting ripped. I'm certainly not advocating that being a gym rat is the only way to being attractive; if that's something LE doesn't enjoy after giving it a try, rather than rejecting it out of hand as cave-man testosterone poisoning or as acquiescence to contemporary gender culture stereotyping or whatever; I grew up as a skinny, soccer-playing kid who couldn't put on muscle if you taped a bucket of mayonnaise to my face until my metabolism slowed down in my late 20's doing something you resent is no way to make yourself happy, and, as previously mentioned, being angry and unhappy isn't an attractive mindset.
Basically, I'm advocating for getting to a position of comfort and confidence, because I enjoy quoting Jack Palance's Old Spice commercials from my childhood: "Confidence is very sexy, don't you think? I do go to the gym. I don't enjoy it, I find it boring but I go to stay in shape and keep my weight under control. If you find steady-state cardio to be tedious, there are definitely other ways to get your fitness fix; maybe rock climbing or yoga class I suck at both of these things, but do yoga because I have all the flexibility of a bacon-wrapped cinder block from too long spent sitting at a deskor a kickball league, or weightlifting, or whatever.
If it's more fun for you, it's less of a chore, and you can find common ground with other practitioners to boot. LeeEsq, you have mentioned you like dancing, perhaps you replace your gym time you don't enjoy with one of the many dance related fitness classes? I have often get an intense sweat that I have to manage while out dancing, if I was at a gym I can easily see that being great exercise. You know what? I do all this, I really do.
How To Date Someone Out Of Your League - Paging Dr. NerdLove
I work out, I dance competively, I have a social life beyond the internet and personality beyond bitterness. But as we've discussed many, many times, there seems to be an issue with how you come across, possibly your tone and your voice. I feel like I can say this without being hypocritical: if you want help with your issues, maybe we need to see your body language and how you act in person. Do you have a video of yourself?
Maybe not a video of you on a date, just a general video of you talking. For example, one of my best friends would objectively be an average to less than average looking woman, but she has this amazing light and happiness to her, so she always had beautiful boyfriends and now a beautiful fiance. She is just one of those people that everyone wants to be around and wants to know.
She just exudes intelligence, charm, charisma and kindness. On the flip side, an acquaintance from my running group is a miserable prick and exudes miserable prickiness. He is perpetually alone, despite beings tall, blonde, objectively handsome as sin, and rather wealthy, as in charter a private jet for the running club wealthy. Being in the same room with him is a trial and we draw straws for who has to sit next to him on the way to races.
Men don't like him, women don't like him, hell, I don't even think bed bugs like him, because he just gives off this horrible miasma of anger, bitterness, frustration, and whininess that is painful to be around.
If looks were as important as they are made out to be, she should be perpetually single and he should have a harem, but the opposite is true in these cases, predominantly due to presentation and character I would hypothesize.
I'm not saying it's looks. NL knocked that down pretty well. But body language and tone of voice are important, and other things determine "a league" besides looks.
So not true. I've seen short, fat, and bald guys with gorgeous young women. Not just casual hookups, but actual relationships.
Maybe looks are all that matter for one night stands, but if you like someone's personality, then it doesn't matter how that other person looks, you'll usually want to stick around.
A lot of people think that I'm very sweet and they like being around me. Nobody ever accused me of being angry, bitter, and frustrated, or whiny outside the internet.
Right! dating guy out of my league advise
I'm well-liked by friends, by professional colleagues, and by people I know through dance. My ex-dates overall seemed to thing that I was a rather pleseant fellow and most of them seemed to have fun, only one really seemed to dislike, they just did not seem to see me as dating material for some reason that I can't comprehend.
Trust me on this.
Vibes can be funny things, because usually the vibe emitter is completely unaware they are giving off any vibe. I bet Running Wretch has no clue that he gives off the vibes he does.
It kind of makes me wish I could meet you and give an assessment, because I feel like face to face is the only way to know. Then again, you only might give that vibe when you are attracted to a woman. Have you ever had any dates where she wanted to see you again and you were not interested? If yes, can you think of how your demeanor may have differed?
More relaxed, perhaps, because the stakes were lower for you? Perhaps showing less effort to impress? I have dates where I definitely wasn't interested in seeing them again but none where they expressed interest of seeing me again. At first I was pretty nervous on dates, as I got used to dating I became more relaxed and now I can pretty much do first dates easily.
I still haven't gotten a second date. Definitely not a situation I can advise over pixel very easily. I was wondering, though, when you are dates are you enjoying yourself?
Really. dating guy out of my league think, that you
As in honestly having a good time? Another thing is that there is a limit to what I can do vibe wise. If I need to put on a vibe of somebody with at least an average in romance and sex than I can't do it because the stakes aren't that low for me.
There will always be at least a part of me wondering whether I'd get a second date or something more and this will probably show up at least somewhat. I can repress it as much as possible but I'm not going to come off as Casanova by a long shot. Coming off as a Casanova is less of an issue than coming off as stressed or worried and if you are seeing an individual first date as anything other than a low stakes game you will come off with a kind of fraught and anxious vibe, I would guess.
I actually turned down a 2nd date with a guy who had that feeling about him. I got this feeling that he was investing the date with too, too much importance and I felt this strange sense that he cared more about having a successful date with me than he did about being on the actual date with me I am not explaining this well. He was wound so tight that it was stressful and unpleasant. He seemed like a nice enough guy, but someone who would drain the life out of you if you dated him. That made perfect sense to me; there is a difference between "I really want this date-thing to go well" and "I really hope the two of us have a good time on our date.
But it feels off kilter and stressful if it seems more like it's about the date than the person. It might be low-stakes to you and other people but first dates aren't for me and other people. If I had more experience they might but at this point they aren't.
I can do a reasonably good job of pretending they are low stakes but until I get more than a repeated series of first dates than they will never be low stakes. I'm not uptight on dates but there needs to be a bit more. Different perspectives I suppose. I have no stake when I first meet someone.
I only develop a stake in a relationship when I know the person. Actually, yes I do. My dating problems seem like the person in the life boat with holes. You plug one hole and another hole appears. There always seems to be one issue or another, one trait or thing that acts as a deal-breaker. I'm looking for a little flexibility. Maybe think of it more like going to the doctor.
Jun 14, There is No Such Thing As "Out Of Your League" Surprise. When someone is referred to as being "out of his/her league", it is almost always based on the flawed idea that the only thing that people value is looks. Whenever we see someone who isn't conventionally attractive dating somebody who is more attractive we often dismiss the relationship as somehow invalid; clearly . When I was a child, my father used to sing us a song which went, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife " (Soul, ). Sep 01, At the end of the date, he told me he would call and I was pretty sure that he wouldn't. But to my surprise he not only called but he also wanted to take me out on a date again. All my life, I have been in relationships with the wrong men- drug addicts, cheaters, jobless men and I never believed that I could attract the right man in my life.
It's not always obvious what the problem is when you go in. Sometimes they have to run some tests and rule some things out. Sometimes there's more than one thing.
You're pursuing dating in a fairly inflexible medium, and it seems like you're mostly interested in women who have enough options that they're not forced to be flexible. You can look for flexibility, but I think you're more likely to find it offline or with different groups of women. If neither of those options appeal, then I think you unfortunately need to keep trying to figure out what's not working for you on your dates so that you can begin to change that thing.
There is always the depressing possibility that I'm not really doing anything wrong and I'm just having a long string of bad luck because I've dated a wide variety of women, tried a variety of dates and approaches when asking for a second date and so far none have seemed to work. The reaction to me usually seems to be the same that I'm sweet but not dating material so its hard to figure out what I'm doing wrong beyond a lack of sex appeal in general. I'm basing this off the fact that my brother has similar dating problems and he has a much better sounding voice than I do.
I guess I don't understand this attitude. I get that you think you've put in enough effort and that should be sufficient. But several of us, upon seeing your video, said something to the effect of "oh, now I understand the problem.
Aug 20, According to their study published in Psychological Science, aptly titled, "Leveling the Playing Field," researchers found it is possible to date someone out of your league. So how do you do it? You have to be friends first. Attraction increases with time. Sep 20, When You're Interested In Someone You Think Is Out Of Your League, It Can Affect Your Self-esteem.
I get that being single can be frustrating-I can count the number of boyfriends I've ever had on one hand with fingers left over. But you keep making versions of the same post over and over again, saying you don't know what's going wrong. Many people have told you what is likely going wrong. Work on it or don't; it's your choice. But saying "women just need to be more flexible" and "when is it my turn? And like I said, my voice used to be really out of control and garbled.
The monotone is actually an improvement. It took me a long time to get my voice under control. Getting the voice better could take a real long time, years, and I do not want to have to put in many more years of work in. In past comments you said that your dates would see you as a nice man but not dating material.
And i'm sorry but I can understand that if what we saw in the dance video was the real you and not just being awkward in front of a camera.
You were talking about something you mentioned enjoying very much, but were very flat and monotone. It didn't seem like you really enjoyed it. I'm sorry, but monotone and flat is not sexy.
And if you want to move from first date to more you do have to show more passion and interest. Not only that, but for people who do not know you well, a monotone tone can make it very hard to read you, if you are enjoying the date, the conversation subject or even the person in front of you.
Now, can you find someone without working on improving that, I think so yes. Will it be harder, very much so. It's very much up to you. But my opinion is that it is probably one of the major things holding you back. And are you sure your out of control voice would be as bad now?
Sometimes quirks we get while growing up change or adjust over time. And it is very easy to develop a complex about it that might not be as relevant now. Of course, all of this is from someone who doesn't know you personally.
Based on what people I know in real life say, yes if I don't watch my voice it does get out of control and my speech booms to inappropriate loudness. My voice was and still is really wild in a non-charming manner if I don't control it and measure it.
It was garbled and sometimes unintelligible and fast. At least people can understand me better now. So yeah my voice might be the big issue but believe me, previously it was a lot worse and this monotone is a big improvement and it still requires a lot of conscious effort on my part. It might not be sexy or attractive but its not as unattractive and off-putting as the previous tone in my voice. And I hate this, I've invested a lot of time and money on self-improvement and there is always something else that needs to be worked on that gets in the way that needs to be worked on.
Lee, whatever you decide, I'm hoping it works out for you. And also the payoff in doing vocal work is likely to be much bigger than with other areas, such as dancing or possibly even going to the gym.
We use our voices throughout the day, every day, so your opportunities to benefit from improvement are many.
It's more like a dial from 1 to If you're starting at 1, even moving up a bit can make a big difference in your interactions.
Don't let the effort it took you to go from uncontrolled to monotone dissuade you from exploring new methods. You may even feel that it's fun to do the work. Good vocal teachers are often joyful and playful people. It seems to me that right now based on the video that your monotone is creating a mask or barrier hampering potential partners from connecting with you emotionally, and that's a shame.
I am also working on an issue that has kept me from connecting with people in the way I desire. It's very scary to make changes that are so fundamental.
Good luck. I have to second this. A date with someone who only spoke in a flat, monotone and affectless manner would: 1 best case scenario make me think the person was going through the motions and wasn't into me or 2 worst case scenario remind me of being at a conference with that one droning presenter who you just wish would shut up and release you from your misery. Neither is a good first date experience. At this point, I think the amount of time and money I have to put in simply to get the possibility of a second date let alone anything else is ridiculous and off putting.
Most people do not have to do this much work simply for the mere possibility of a second date. Its not fair. Everything costs money. Than you need to set aside time to practice till you get it right while working on everything else in your life. There isn't enough time. And congrulation, no one is perfect and everyone needs to work on something in thier life.
It sucks, both emotional and in money terms. But would you rather be where you were before or where you are now? There's a certain point when it comes to receiving advice where you have to put your money where your mouth is which is part of the reason I link up my FB profile, even though it's a tad embarrassing to know people in my real life could read my whining. We give you advice, and you say over and over "No, it's not that.
There's a certain point where if you keep shooting down advice, you have to be willing to keep offering people things to critique. You may have posted the video once a while ago, but obviously many of us didn't see it. I'm not claiming I'm perfect.
If someone wanted to see a video of me, I'd probably offer it. I just wanted to say that you are really adorable and good at videos! Being able to connect with the viewer and not seem that you are just talking to a camera is something that a lot of people doing tutorials, bloggers, etc. You're a talented lady! The music and pacing are also really nice and upbeat. Thanks for posting this video. Besides being a beautifully executed tutorial, it shows how well vocal intonation and body language can engage the viewer.
The cowl top is quite flattering, though the light color washes you out. And the hoop earrings seem to me to not complement the lovely shape of your face. Long, straight earrings could be a more flattering look. Apologies if this is stepping over the line. Considering everything I know about basting has to do with things you make in an oven rather than things you make on a sewing machine, I actually followed that. Nice job explaining what you were doing and why.
My husband of 19 years is 5' 7", and that is about as tall as I wanted to go with a guy. He seems very tall to me. I would have been happy with a guy 5' 2" my height or anything in between. People I meet and run into today that I think are attractive are the shorter guys still.
Though I don't watch Girls because I don't have hbo, most of the comments and blog entries that I read didn't say at all that it was just about her looks. It was her looks combined with the fact that she had nothing else to offer. She's not smart, she's pretty egotistical and self centered, she's not very charming, and some episodes seem to highlight that she may have some sort of psychological disorder s. If she was hooking up with him and she was very good looking, there would probably still be people saying "I believe it, but I still don't like it".
If she had a charming personality, or she was a character that you would root for, people would probably love it. It's like - if there's a cute charming geek who's socially awkward, and in a movie he gets together with the super popular girl, it might not be realistic but most people root for him anyways. There was an article about this actually on Slate I thinkthat talked about how both characters got something out of the weekend together.
Patrick's character, an older, divorced doctor, got to experience one weekend without responsibility. Also, Hanna's character is self-absorbed, but she's definitely smart. She has a book deal in the show, and went to Oberlin. She can also be very charming at times, and in that episode, her youth and brazenness is what attracts him to her.
She hits on him, and he's so stunned and flattered. Haven't seen the episode, but I'd suspect the fling had no staying power because Hannah really IS a mess, prone to self-absorption and childishness. But at the same time, I agree she's clearly very smart; I've watched the first season, and my take-away is that if she'd just grow the fuck UP, she'd be great.
Are certainly dating guy out of my league final, sorry
If Hannah really is an author-insertion character as I've heard suggested elsewhere, she's likely the ballsiest Mary Sue in the disreputable history of the trope. Lena Dunham has absolutely no fear of portraying herself in an unflattering light, which is one of the reasons the show is so compelling.
Honestly, it all sounds completely plausible to me. I think even if she is an author insert, I'm not sure she counts as a Mary Sue.
Are not dating guy out of my league opinion you
I've always understood the Mary Sue was being without much definable character or flaws. Hannah is like the opposite of a Mary Sue.
Yeah, I think it only counts as a Mary Sue if it's being done unintentionally. I'm not a huge fan of either Girls or Dunham, but what she's doing is obviously purposeful. I think Hanna is a little closer towellwhatever Nathan Zuckerman would be called. They just tend to be so absurdly self-indulgent that you rarely see them in professional-grade fiction.
I feel like you're arguing Hannah can't be a Mary Sue because she's a rare really well-done Mary Sue. There's a difference between a Mary-Sue and an author avatar.
A Mary-Sue is an absurdly perfect and special character who often upstages the main characters. An authorial avatar may be a Mary-Sue isn't always. I think if she's well done, she's not a Mary Sue. A Mary Sue is meant to be idealized and created as an extension of wish-fulfillment. I think Hannah might be an exaggeration of some of Durham's traits, but there is nothing wish-like or idealized about her, thus why I think she doesn't fit the Mary Sue.
Yes, even the doctor doesn't count, since the episode makes it clear the sexy older doc is just sort of flattered and is going through his own emotional turmoil, which is why he hooks up with Hannah; he doesn't fall deeply in love with her or even seem that into her, thus negating the wish fulfillment.
Once you know about Mary Sues you see them quite a lot in professional fiction.
Jane Eyre herself has some Mary Sue tendencies, but Helen Burns from early in that book is one of most obnoxious, sententious, tedious, hateful Mary Sues in all of literature, a blight on an otherwise agreeable book. She was the sappiest sap who ever sapped and I wanted to belt her when I first read the book at age I've been under the impression that most people hated her, or at least considered her a nuisance that they had to deal with before they got to the good part of the plot.
I'm a little curious how she was received by the book's initial audience, though. Was she perceived as a sap even by them, or is this something that modern audiences react to more strongly because we've been exposed to so many variations on this same cliche?
I didn't hate her, I first read the book at ten and tended to read a lot of Victorian and Edwardian fiction and just took her as part of the genre. I assume that most people reading at the time would have done so as well.
I think Jane was based largely on Charlotte herself but Helen was based on her sister Maria, who died of tuberculosis.
Operation Shylock is one example. The entire Roth family, his parents, his older brother, and his ten year old self are the main characters in The Plot Against America.
Except your last paragraph describes most protagonists of teen sex comedies. Most of the male protagonists are sort of stupid, rather selfish, really short-sighted, sex- or status- obsessed, etc.
Take "American Pie," one of the biggest staples of the genre. Chris Klein is the only one with any redeemable qualities; the rest of them are incredibly immature, and rather creepy setting up a webcam so your buddies can watch you have sex with on an unknowing girl-classy! The point kind of is, that's how most people are in their early and mid's. Charming is also a matter of perspective. I find her very realistic and fascinating.
Sometimes she's infuriating, sometimes she's charming, just like an actual human. I would disagree with most of your adjectives, actually. Don't think I would really agree with selfish either - what main protagonist is being selfish - I mean more than anyone else?
Have you seensay, Gossip Girl? The most status obsessed of male antagonists pales in comparison, lol. I think it was somewhat telling that Chris Klein was the only character in the later movies to not end up married to the girl he was with in the first movies. It'swell, it's definitely what I've seen in real life. I've often been the guy with the "sensitive" vibe, and I've painful gotten rid of about half of that in my own personality because again and again if a guy has that vibe - he's single.
I kinda don't really understand your 2nd paragraph, because it rather is described by the first. I would disagree with you strongly that "most" people are like Hannah - though on the other hand, "game" teaches to be more like that, so maybe most people really are like that and they're just outside my social circle. Seethe thing is, Irather agree with you about her being more realistic. Buuuuutthat "unrealistic" portrayal of women is what I see most of the female commenters here pushing as well not you, but most of the other ones.
Later, it changes to something like - well, a few women are like that, but they're rare and they're an exception, that's not what most women are like. When I say there's a lot of girls on the personals who are selfish and just in it for the kicks I said a lot, not allI get a lot of negative responses - but Hannah is exactly the kind of girl who would do it for the attention then bail and just not show up when meeting because she's not sure what to do.
I can totally a female character on the show who calls some guy "creepy" because she's in a bad mood and just doesn't like him and he seems harmless.
They're egotistical and self-centered - they don't care about any sort of higher level "should I say this" kind of stuff. Hannah is the girl-perspective on "game".
From what I read and for "Girls" I'm reading mostly female-written blogsAdam - her on-again-off-again boyfriend - doesn't return texts calls etc, but she keeps going back to him again and again. He doesn't even put on a try at being charming or having deeper feelings most of the time, but this just causes her to complain about it - but keep going back to him again and again.
He acts aloof and better than her and she keeps coming back - whether or not he's a "decent human being" is beside the point. When with another girl Adam dates for a while inspires online comments about how he's borderline-rapey - you notice the character is back getting together with him again in the next episode. What he did - doesn't even cause her a non-Hannah character to dislike him enough to stop seeing him and sleeping with him. Adam himself is practically the definition of the aloof asshole - and she keeps going back to him again and again.
From my perspective a lot of times guys don't like Hannah, but it's usually women who are insisting that women like Hannah don't exist - or are some sort of tiny minority of women that doesn't really count anyways. Some women don't know when to stop chasing the guy they like. If you've been working your slow-burn strategy to get him to fall in love with you, and it's not working, you must recognize that you're wasting your time.
It could simply be because he's out of your league, or it could be because he's just not that into you or relationships. The bottom line is: You can't make someone fall in love with you. It's also a great way of discovering whether or not he has a sense of humor. If he doesn't have one, then he's not in your league. You're a special person. Don't you dare forget it! Then you just need to own your worth a little more. Sign in.
Join YourTango Experts. I never thought a guy like him would be interested in me. I went on dates with guys who found me attractive and fun and interesting ,but most of them didn't want to pursue a relationship with me because they could never admit to the world that they liked a fat girl.
When I met Ryan, I was a mess of insecurities. Cancer treatment had left me with noticeably thin hair, a slowly-disappearing right eyebrow, and 30 pounds heavier than what I had once considered my "high weight. We basically met on the Internet but that's another storyso all our interaction was on the telephone or online chat. Despite thinking that it was impossible for somebody like him to notice me, he did. We spent hours upon hours on the phone.
The guy who was obviously out of my league. I bought a plane ticket to the other side of the country.