While relationships between students and professors aren't unheard of, they can be a source for all kinds of problems. A professor is in a position of authority over a student, whether or not he or she is that student's teacher or supervisor, which makes any dating arrangement tricky at best. Ultimately, if the two are consenting adults there's no scenario where it's OK for a high school teacher to date a current student , there's not much anyone can do to prevent them from pursuing a romantic relationship. But expect there to be consequences. First things first: A student must be 18 years old to legally be able to consent to a relationship with an adult. Beyond that, some schools have specific rules about what to do if a student and a professor want to pursue a romantic relationship. Breaking those rules could jeopardize the professor's job and the student's status.
And we work with so many students every term, and are faced with so many new ones every year, that there is no way to keep a catalog in your head of All The Bad Students so you can glare at them in the halls.
None of mine ever checked up on me, that I know of. I was also totally also a gift-giver to advisors and really important mentors. Even a late follow-up is fine; I just care about what happens. Getting a written note or post-card from a student after a class is over is great. You handled asking for recommendation letters perfectly - several months lead time, current CV, etc.
Feb 11, If you've actually graduated and a few months have gone by, yes, it's probably okay to start dating a former professor. If you are un-graduated, and if it's possible you might have to take another class with that professor before you graduate, it's definitely a no-no. Jun 21, Many schools discourage professor/student dating for these reasons. Additionally, other students may perceive a student dating a professor as having an unfair advantage. If you're dating a professor whose classes you take, students may think you're getting special treatment or grades you haven't earned, no matter if you actually are. Apr 26, As Professor X notes, a professor has a potential teacher-student relationship with all students at a university, not just those in his or her classes. Dating a student who happens not to be in one of those classes is what lawyers call "a distinction without a difference.".
For any students out there thinking about asking for letters of recommendation, do it that way. Writing such letters is part of my job. But years later, I did need to contact one person professionally, and found that A I was remembered B fondly and C this was followed by productive professional relationship. Another person wound up being considered for a tenured position difft uniand gave me as a former student who would provide feedback, so I was contacted by the Dept and asked if I would send in an evaluation - I did, it was favorable, and they were hired, and I got a very nice thank you in my turn.
At the very least, it marks you as a person with good manners. I agree with the advice, but let me add something: once you are no longer a student at my school, I tend to forget you existed, unless you made an especially good or bad impression. The thing is, there are always new students coming at me. I only have so much time and energy, and the bulk of it belongs to current students. Contact with former students should be non-intrusive and to the point.
I have no problem with writing references. On the other hand, you have my mother, who is a professor at a liberal arts college and loves hearing from former students. At least the ones she liked. Not like this is something her life centers around, but she certainly enjoys it and takes satisfaction in knowing that the people she thought were interesting as undergrads are doing interesting things with their lives. I pretty much muddled along doing my own thing and checking occasionally with the advisor.
If I had been interested in academia, I suppose my graduate advisor might have taken more of an interest in my future plans, and I would have been more interested in fostering an ongoing connection.
If I was visiting the area and had time to go to campus, I would drop by to say hello to 2 or 3 faculty. Mostly in my 20s when I wandered around the country a lot. Some of those could have turned into friendships. One professor did invite me on a whitewater expedition between my freshman and sophomore years, which sounded like a fantastic holiday, but that was my summer from hell when I was taking an intensive organic chemistry class and desperately trying to find work to cover my living expenses over the summer and trying to be a responsible adult.
It goes with not knowing how to ask for help in the first place. I have totally dropped back in to chat about a further topic related to their subject-plus-coffee, and I know I would be welcome to do it again. When I leave my own students at the end of a term I make them an open offer to get in touch if I can continue to mentor them further in the field. Interestingly, those who take me up on it are often the ones who have already formed some kind of able-to-talk-to-me relationship while still studying.
Dating Professor After Graduation, elster single, site de rencontre serieux quebecois, american men dating in mexico. oznat. Poids. Proportionnel (22 ) Mince (19 ) Athletique (11 ) Enrobe(e. Feb 26, I'm dating a former undergrad professor. I spent my last semester and part of the summer working in his lab to gain experience for my grad applications. We started dating in July (two months after my graduation - nothing happened before then, not even discussion of dating) and plan to continue dating while I am in grad school. May 22, An academic who did not want to be identified, given the complexity of the issue, said she began dating her professor after her first year of graduate school in the early s. She was single, and he was 20 years older and divorced.
The day she opened it was the last day she worked as a teacher! It was sweet, definitely for me, and for both of us I think.
Just wanted to say thank you so much for responding, Captain, and thank you everyone in the comments too! It was always gross and predatory. For my first post-college full-time job I asked one of my professors to be a reference for me. The job was completely outside his field, but he knew me and could talk about whether I worked conscientiously, etc. The head of the department emailed a number of alumni who had taken classes from this professor and asked if we would give appraisals of his teaching and advising.
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I was really glad I got to do that. I wish beyond words that my students kept in touch. Sometimes I form such great bonds with my more active students.
Then they disappear and I never know what happened to them.
The silence makes me feel as though I lost something special. The rest, I congratulate and wish them the best, then smile and close my door gently as I herd them out of my office. An email once a year is usually plenty for me. Skip to content Hello! Thanks for your time!! How big is your favor, exactly?
Can you make it smaller and more specific? Like this: Like Loading She wants me. I had no idea about that - is it a USA thing, maybe?
My undergrad institution has a Facebook page for the department I majored in, which is handy. That is a really good point. All graduate programs are different. Depending on the people in your program, you may have problems or you may not. If your program is very competitive, then your peers may believe your relationship is what got you into the program, not your work.
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I think it helps that your S. I would recommend keeping your personal life and your student life separate. For example, if there is an event that is for students and faculty in the department, don't bring your S.
Aug 29, Yeah, one thing to be prepared for is that your relationship with any former teacher changes dramatically upon graduation. I don't mean that in a bad way, but, at some level, you're equals now. It's awesome in a lot of ways, but it is likely going to be stunning the first time you run into it.
If you do, it may look like you are flaunting the relationship or using it to increase your status in the department. Conversely, if there is a casual event where students are welcome to bring family members and friends from outside the department, then bring him.
I think the key is to remember that you are the graduate student here, and there is a teacher-student, faculty-mentor hierarchy that exists in graduate programs. By dating a faculty member from another university, you are straddling a fine line, and it may make your fellow students uncomfortable. If they want to complain about someone or something, they may hesitate to open up in your presence out of fear that it will travel back to the faculty in the department.
Finally, I would discuss this issue with your boyfriend, since this also has implications for his reputation and career. Honestly, as a fellow student, I think it will look weird. As others have said, even though it isn't fair, people will be questioning whether you can stand on your own or whether you have gotten favors or help.
That is all related to your 'professional' life as a student, though. As far as ostracizing someone who is dating a professor at another schoolI really really doubt that will happen.
Think, that dating professor after graduation think, that you
I don't think other students will care who you're dating, except that it is slightly more interesting than your typical significant other. In terms of your social life, I don't think you can or should hide it; trying to be 'covert' will only make it seem more questionable when it inevitably comes out.
I've seen first hand what happens with a spousal hire she was his GA at another school and how both both faculty are treated as a result. It can create an uncomfortable dynamic and makes it awkward as a student after the fact when colleagues at other schools ask you for the story.
If you love him, go for it and don't be afraid! Honestly, I don't think your fellow students will care much about your personal life.
And to any intelligent person it should be clear that you don't owe your excellent grades or admissions to a graduate school to him because if it was true there would have been some kind of a scandal rumours spread quickly. All of them resented it. People will perceive you as having an unfair advantage due to the relationship, regardless of whether it is true.
Honestly, it would be a complete pain in the ass to hide one's partner from one's peers throughout several years of graduate school.
My partner works a job that often requires working on Friday and Saturday nights. As such, when I mention him and people haven't met him, they often ask when they will, for more information on him, etc. And, because we are partners, he is invited to departmental events just like I am and attends them when his work schedule permits. BUT, that doesn't mean that it would be easy to hide our relationship from everyone in my department.
OP, if you end up trying to hide your relationship, you will have to constantly be on guard about what you say and do. That's not an action to be taken lightly, considering that you'll have to do it for several years.
Dec 12, Wait until the semester is over. Most schools have policies against professors dating students, and they are strictest when it comes to students they are actually teaching. To avoid unnecessary headaches for both of you, don't act on your feelings until the semester is over. Your best bet is really to wait until you have graduated%. Advice on Continuing to Date after Graduation Graduation is a big step in a relationship, especially if one graduates while the other is still in school. Since you are in different stages, your continuing to date after graduation can either strengthen or crumble your relationship. Not entirely surprisingly then, if it is discovered that a professor was dating one of their students, they would almost certainly be fired. As for dating students once they are no longer in your class (and are not likely to be in your class again), then there are cases where you can. Professors typically cannotuniversities have policies against that.
You have to consider whether or not that it is worth it. That wouldn't bother me in the slightest either, especially given that there isn't much of an age-difference. Heck, we're in grad-school; by this point it would probably be weirder to be dating a high-school student than to be dating a professor.
People bond over shared interests, after all, and people in the same field usually have a lot of the same specific full-fledged passions for the same topics and subdisciplines!
Just talk about him the way you would any SO, but if you're asked what he does, just say something along the lines of, 'oh, right now he's doing some teaching over at XYZ College'. Let them make their own inferences; most young professors were grad-students very recently, after all, and there's nothing especially shocking about a grad-student dating another grad-student.
Consider, dating professor after graduation excited
I agree - evasive lying is the way to go in this case. If they are seldom mentioned, maybe no one will ask.
I wouldn't immediately drag them out to department functions or even student parties. Just be sure this is a long-term relationship before you jeopardize your future over it. That said, I, personally, would not care. Honestly, I'd end the relationship or make it super-casual as in he's not your boyfriend or partner; he's just someone you know and go out with on occasion.
5 Teachers Who Married Their Students - benjamingaleschreck.com
It's probably not going to last anyway, and in the end the potential costs outweigh any benefits. If you lie about the relationship or you try to cover it up, then when people finally do find out about it, they will be more suspicious because you misled them. They will wonder why you had to hide it if you weren't doing anything wrong and no amount of explaining will convince them otherwise.
If everything is on the up and up, then it is in your best interest not to hide it regardless of what they will think. The consequences will be much worse if you try to cover it up and fail to do so. If you are going to grad school at a different institution where you significant other is not working, but he will visit you there, why do you have to introduce him as a former professor? Why can't you just say 'this is my boyfriend JoeBlow'.
If people say 'what do you do JoeBlow? We are all adults and I think you can date whomever. Just because he is a professor in the same field, would not equal him being your professor when you were in your undergrad. There were many profs in my small department that never taught me. If people are mature, I don't think it would matter. This is not something scandelous if you ask me! I think psycholinguist hit the nail on the head. Hiding the relationship or flaunting it may cause some questions to be asked.
Just be yourself. Let your colleagues get to know you and your work first. That would be enough for me.
I may be off the mark, but it seems to me that a lot of the responses here are addressing the issue as if the professor was in the OP's current school or department. Besides, the OP said they only spent one semester and part of a summer in his lab. Perhaps it's because I'm in the Humanities, but how much effect could one semester and part of a summer in a lab have on one's credentials to get into a different grad program barring some outrageous results during that time?
Dating professor after graduation
I'm only starting grad school in the fall, but I doubt I will care very much about the relationships of my cohort even if they were dating a professor from a different university and any "judgments" I would form about someone would be based on my opinion of their work.
That's just me, but I could imagine some members of an ultra-competitive cohort seeking any kind of edge seizing on something like this even if it had no effect on the OP's current status. My only advice would be to act professionally. And mainly, pursue your own intellectual interests.
Is it frowned upon? Is it OK to date a professor, so long as you're not in one of his or her classes? Be aware that even if you're not breaking any rules, your relationship, and how it's perceived could cause problems. Even if the professor isn't the student's teacher when the relationship starts, problems could arise if the student ends up in the professor's class later on.
As a member of the faculty, the professor holds power over the student. Additionally, other students may perceive a student dating a professor as having an unfair advantage. If you're dating a professor whose classes you take, students may think you're getting special treatment or grades you haven't earned, no matter if you actually are. From your perspective, you're just enjoying the benefits of a nice relationship.
But it's unfair to other students, who don't have the same access.
A student dating a professor should be prepared for tension with peers, as they may envy the inside access to the faculty world.