And being one it has caught my attention. I hear this over and over again. Her kids will come first every single time. Or they should. Finding time to fit in a relationship can be really difficult. When you are with her and her kids you need to be responsible.
It's a matter of common sense, they talked, he said she was cute, she got his attention, then promptly laid out her dirty laundry of her life and complained about how bad it was. Then promptly showed zero interest in his personal life.
Who in their right mind, man or woman, would want to date a person like that?! Certainly not me. Great at first me thinking what kind of idiot would give this person up - then as per the author's accurate observation points, the negatives crept in. We finished. History shows she now has 4 kids to 3 different fathers. Facebook is your friend. Nowhere else in nature will you find the male willing to take on another male's offspring. There's a single mother in our street who play's the hard-done-by card to a tee.
She has a constant stream of male "helpers" providing her with free DIY, drinks, meals, vacations etc. Would you date a single mother if she didn't have a vagina? Bwaahahaa to point number I posted the lengthy statement above. I am a divorced mom and I am not dating until my youngest child is 18 and maybe not even then.
I support myself, always have, and my children with no help. Their father was a deadbeat. Yes that is my fault too, but what's done is done. Not all women are money grubbing gold diggers like the bloggers wife, and men need to take responsibility too. Don't have sex with her or get a vasectomy. Or, just act like single moms are money grubbing whores trying to get themselves pregnant for your paycheck. That works too. This is a universal truth.
Its not only truth in your countrythis is a truth every whereevery countryevery color of woman etc. Seems that in USA can get worse as I read some folks legally have to pay for kids that dont belong to themthats insane.
The only situation in nature to take other men offspring is different species. Let nature do the job. He is not illiterate. English is obviously not his first language. Considering that he is still able to write a post in English is smarter than you. I'm a man, engaged to the mother of my two children. And even in this situation, the children always take priority. You the significant other won't always be the priority; and that's fine. We a still love eachother and we're to be married September if I think most of this article is trash.
Not wanting to be with a woman because she doesn't have a pre-pregnancy body is incredibly shallow, and speaks poorly to your character. If you're really worried about the possibility of a divorce, and the woman getting half of everything you have? Sign a pre-nup. I also don't believe you would be accused of child abuse for no reason, unless you gave people reason to worry, or the mother is crazy as hell.
In which case, the flags should have gone up long before you invested enough time to be trusted with her child alone. Frankly, the only thing I can agree with you on is the child bonding with a man, and the relationship ending.
If this happens so many times, it can be emotionally harmful to the child. I know a single mother that dated so many men, her son will call anyone daddy. He called me daddy the 2nd time they were at my house, and I felt terrible for the kid. Outside of that, your views seem really misguided. A little boy at my son's daycare called every woman mommy. Mom's can be dead beat parents too. Do these rules also apply to single fathers?
I think the entire article is trash. It must be satire. I'm seeing a guy who's 8 years younger than me; he's well aware that I have two kids. We take turns paying for our dates, we plan everything around the kids he's super considerate of them and their needs. We are going super slow, and making sure all our decisions for the future are most beneficial for the kids well being.
Not every man is a shallow idiot like the author of this article. Not every single parent mom or dad is a crazy blood sucking parasite. People with children usually have goals, they work hard to get or stay ahead. They can be the most inspirational and motivational people. They obviously know how to take care of others and put someone else first.
That's way more than can be said about most unmarried young people with no kids these days. To each their own, but real adults with real world views would not find use of this article.
Thanks for your thoughtful feedback, Anonymous, and I mean that sincerely. A few notes There were many reasons cited. Deterioration of her body was only one. Prenups are tossed out of court all of the time. False allegations of abuse are also made all of the time. And, in fact, no small percentage of people including women are, in fact, dealing with mental illness. Even though you've revealed very little about yourself, what you have revealed indicates that the odds of you staying married to this woman are not favorable.
This is based on statistics, and of course stats are about a population. I look forward to hearing how things progress in your relationship.
A large percentage of said people dealing with mental illness and personality disorders are women. Lets not forget Of all the reason for avoiding single mothers for dating and relationships, the best one came from a woman - it was a YouTube comment made by ShieldWife: "Men, what if you met a woman who was interested in dating you and she came right out and said that she was going to cheat on you with a hotter guy, a bad boy type.
She would have that guy's children and you'd be the sucker paying to raise that guy's kids and to support this unfaithful woman. You certainly wouldn't ever consider dating that woman, right? She's already had that fling with the bad boy and now she wants a sucker to support her and that guy's kids. Why would you agree to enter into a relationship that you know is going to be exploitive from the very beginning?
Maybe he was a decent hard working man, a good father and provider. In which case, she stabbed him in the back and tore apart their family, doing immeasurable damage to their children and ruining the poor guy financially and emotionally, likely because she got bored with him.
So true. I fell for it and lost big, 9yrs. She got bored and cheated on me, like her ex. I put 2 and 2 together and came up with her needing an ATM not a life long partner. Oh, I help her through a Batchelors and Masters degree and cheated on me one month later after getting it. This is spot on, and there are many other reasons than these.
I'll address a few things that the initial "Anonymous" woman posted regarding your points. On the point that a "mature" man would understand that he's going to be last priority. I dated many single moms in the past - before I wised up that aside from sex there is nothing in such for a real man - and single mommy ALWAYS expects that she be his first priority, with her kids by another man being a close second priority for him. It isn't just that most relationships end, it's that a guy who gets with a single mom is likely to lose a whole lot more when - most likey - the single mom ends the relationship.
So single mommy, if she was married, likely made her own mess. And it is highly likely she will do the same for the new guy, and take a lot of his assets, and cash with her. On a guy being vulnerable to charges of abuse, this is definitely true, and while not common, all it takes is one angry single mom or stepkid to ruin a man's life.
It won't matter that he's not guilty he'll lose his job, his life, and his relationships because the stain of those false accusations will never go away. It doesn't matter if YOU won't expect your boyfriend to pay for, or not. Most every single mom I've dated sat back easily and thought I should pay, and that is the same experience for men most of the time.
If I'm in shape and take care of myself, I have every right not to deal with a body that is attractive and in shape. Just as a guy needs to take care of himself physically, so does a woman. Great if she's got a wonderful personality, but that's only part of the package. No man when he is young dreams of being a father Step-parenting is most often a living Hell for the guy with no kids.
He is not part of the team that single mommy, her kids, and even her ex form, AND while Stepdaddy will be expected to empty his wallet to pay for kids not his, he will be disinvited at will if he expresses a desire for her kids - and even for her ex - that is counter to the opinion of the members of her team.
See 2 8. My, my how single moms like to throw around the words "real man" to try to insult we guys who are wise enough to stay away from single moms. Obviously, we guys who want to keep out time, dreams, money, K, assets, etc.
You have no idea of which you speak.
Why dating a single mom is a bad idea
Regarding exes, I handled a couple deadbeat exes in my day, but why should I have to? My life without single mommy is full of money, free time, no drama, my assets are safe and mine.
AND I don't have a single mommy who still pines for her ex - is often banging him still on the side - who creates a lot of drama between me and the ex. Single mommy picked him, and so she should have to deal with him Never refer to children as Baggage.
You were a child once so that makes you baggage? The only thing I don't agree with here is that single mothers do offer something that a person without children can. And that's the ability to think third demential meaning they know how to take care of someone other than themselves and most of the time can act unselfish!
Other men's children are excess baggage, especially when single mom tries to get a man who is not their father to carry the baggage. Single moms are poison whether their baggage lives at home or is out generating grand kids who are not your own, but will be a sucking swamp of your time and resources. Oh yeah, choosing to have a kid who'll grow up without a father to is sooo unselfish.
Having your parents babysit your kid while you hit the bars, collecting WIC and foodstamps is sooo unselfish.
Here's something a chick with kids can offer you that a childless woman can't, and that's to possibly have a court stick you with child support if the relationship with her ever ends, for a the other guy's kids if the court decides they see you as as having a parental relationship. Simply put it you're selfish don't date single parents.
It's o. To be selfish. Just don't date a single parent if you are. That's when it won't work out. I think this is crap. I'm a single mom of three. I made a responsible decision, with my husband, to have those children; we both wanted them. I'm not looking for a new baby daddy, sugar daddy, or cash cow. I take care of my own children, pay my own bills, and am going to the closing table on a house in less than three weeks. I don't date, nor do I plan to date until my youngest is in school so that they do not start to get attached to anyone.
I will only introduce a man to my children if it is completely serious; not even if said man wanted to meet my children. I don't want any more children and have in a mirena until I can get my tubes tied.
Yes, my kids will always come first, as it should be. But, even if I was childless, I learned a long time ago to never elevate a man above myself. So, he still wouldn't come first. I agree that there are a lot of women out there like this but, there are also men with a lot of these traits. I think it's messed up to group all single moms in with a few gold digging, baby mamas. Some of us are decent, responsible, honest, hardworking people.
Sweetheart you are not a single mom, you are a widow. You made the proper choice and circumstances out of your control,took your husband and their father from you. Look at what you typed, your character is dramatically different from what he is inferring. In my opinion, as much as it is relevant, a widow is not even on the same planet as an intentional baby mamma etc.
You are a widow, you are not under any circumstance a single mother. You did your due diligence, had children in the correct manner,and circumstance out of your control took your husband and their father away.
You did not make poor life choices and expect someone else to pick up the slack. You are not on the same planet, as a baby mamma or arrogant divorcee. There's a guy in our office. He took on a single mother with 2 kids. She never looked happy around him. Not sure if there's even a moral to this. I feel so bad for that poor guy and I hope he recovers from this disaster.
I was about to end up like this but she cheated much early in the marriage and we divorced and she thought she ll get alimony and k but non of that happened and I have recovered from that depression and now I super careful in selecting any women as a life partner They can cook, clean, keep house, balance a checkbook and stick to schedules.
How many single women are sloppy and can't cook because they never had to take care of someone? They DIDN'T stay with a deadbeat in order to save face and took on the single mother stigma head-on to sacrifice for their children. They already know how to out others before themselves.
How many single women do that well? Could men ever bear to be judged like the man that wrote this article is judging women? How many men adore their nieces and nephews? How many men teach or mentor children? You can love the experience if the mother is as great as you're dating her for Everyone has a history. Writing half of the dating population off for something that could work out fine is not the ONLY choice single men have.
Sincerely, Gorgeous 36 yr old, divorced mother of three I'd have to meet her first. Being a single mother doesn't make you undateable. Being a horrible person does and they're are horrible people with and without kids. Single father's are judged and passed on all the time.
Something also why dating a single mom is a bad idea variant does not
Single mothers most certainly do not all know how to cook. I dated one and she was terrible. And you certainly don't speak for all single mothers, I've seen plenty that treat men like trash and use them. One of the reasons they are single. And as to they knee what they want? Not necessarily so,and more likley than not, they are looking for resources. There's not much incentive for a single guy to date a woman with kids, who likley have a strong bond with biodaddy and will see the new guy mom is dating as an invader.
Happened to a friend of mine. You don't be a team either in regards to the kids, you're in the back, biodaddy is a teammember and you're expected to pay.
You'll never have an opportunity to be her first priorty or have that important bond where the husband and wife will be important to each other. You will always be a distant after thought.
And if she's older and had multiple kids, your not likley to have any of your own as well. My uncle is married to a widow. Her daughter always came first, then she had a kid out of wedlock. Guess what? Grandchild came first, and he is still an after thought but expected to pay. I also noticed you praised yourself.
Not really much to offer a single guy with no kids at your age and I can infer your divorce was bad. You have an uphill battle if you're going to date again for something serious and long term. I wish you luck. Of course they can clean and keep house - but WILL they? Oh, that's a good one. What a mess for their kids! This is NOT an anti-woman posting. This is about protecting men and children. Very slight potential. The risks are far more severe and likely to happen.
Well, personally I've always found the very idea of dating a single mother to be repulsive. Basically I'd be taking on the responsibility of raising another man's offspring, which to me, comes off as completely arbitrary.
The ultimate purpose of being in a relationship with someone in my book is marriage, and being married to a single mother means having to share the financial burden of raising the children. The messed up thing is if the relationship ends, then there is the risk of having to pay out child support to children who aren't even mine. The risk and effort is just not worth it.
I have, and will always continue to avoid single mothers like the plague. You made that up No man pays child support for kids that were already there before they even dated unless they choose to. Some men raise kids and consider them theirs too. Glad there are wonderful em out there like that. I know of a case in New Mexico and a couple in California where a man was forced to pay child support for not his own spawn.
Pity, why dating a single mom is a bad idea realize, what
Avoid single moms, make the wrong decision and there is a chance you will be financially gutted and made to support her kids. Wow what a bunch of negative people! This post is wrong! As for all you trolls, you're nothing but a bottom feeder living with mommy with a bottle of lotion on his night stand! Grow up. I won't date a single mum for the simple reason that i raised my son on my own, he's grown up now and it's all about me these days, as i've done my part in raising my OWN kid.
I have my own business, very financially independent, play sports and have a busy life. There is no way i would jeapordise that for anything or anyone, as i worked hard for everything i've got these days. I'd prefer to date someone who has had kids, but they're grown up now. I just believe that you should be raising your own kids, not someone else's! On the balance of probabilities - dating a single mother is not going to result in a happy outcome for you.
They are in the minority. Put simply.
For why dating a single mom is a bad idea remarkable, the amusing
Why take the risk? Ok help please, I have been with my single mom for almost ten months, and in that period I have provided ultimate security for her and her two children a house new car vacations etc etc etc. I have met her needs completely she doesn't have to work she takes care of the kids full time and has no worries.
Nov 12, Here's why: 1. They'll use their children against you, even if its unintentional. They all do it. 2. Most these days had their children out of wedlock, which is a sign of bad morals and character. Problems dating a single mom: what you need to know as a man. Way back at the beginning of my single mom dating shenanigans I fell in love with an older man. My kids were 1 and 3, his were in college. A few months in, I broke it off over a boozy Italian dinner. "Face it," I said. "You don't want to be running around with little kids again.". Being a single mom, is it a very bad idea to date single men? Why? Definitely not a good idea to date married men. Their wives probably won't be happy about the idea. If what you really mean is dating men who have never been married and who have no kids of their own, what's the issue. Some guys like children. Some don't.
She has two kids and the father has not been in there lives for quite some time doesn't send money no phone calls on birthday or holidays, nothing. The point of my post is because I'm doing all this because I love them but they treat me "like a complete piece of trash" the kids come first which is the way that it should be but I come last completely and I mean I'm the soul provider for these kids and there mom and they treat me like if I was a bum and didn't do nothing for them.
I think I'm about to jump ship here what do I do? Is this the perks of dating a single mom? We're on vacation now and it feels like I'm just a walking ATM and they don't even care that I'm here.
I am sorry that is happening to you but no that is not the perks of dating a single mom unfortunately you've found one of the ones described in this post but coming from a single mom there are some of us that do want the LOVE AND AFFECTION of a good man not his money and assets it just depends on the character of the female to whom you choose to date.
Gut instinct? You're a mother with a son. One day he announces he's met a single mother who he's going to be seeing a lot more of. Are you happy for him? Like this post Lots of well put comments. It's even got trolls calling people trolls : Seems to be on the side of avoid single mothers. Another single mommy throwing out the old shaming tactic that we guys who, very wisely, reject the idea that a relationship with a single mom is beneficial to any man simply and absolutely MUST be living in our mommy's basement and sadly alone.
So typical. No, no. It couldn't be that we wise men have a sizable K that we wise men will retire with and enjoy all our days. It surely isn't that we wise men may own our own home and not want single mommy - who left the father of her children and often took his assets - to get her grubby paws on our home and take it from us.
No way it could be that I make a sizable paycheck that I don't want expected by her to buy, buy, buy for she and her kids by another man while I get no return on that financial investment, and also provide another asset for her to take from me when - most likely - she initiates a divorce as she most likely did with her ex. It certainly must not be that the guy doesn't live in his own home, gets to date childless women who don't have rugrats to interrupt the dates or sex.
It absolutely cannot be that the wise guy is smart enough to know that single mommy brings piles of debts and drama to the relationship that would likely be challengin g without the extra baggage.
No, no single mommy declares it, and so it must be such that any guy who is wise to call out single mommy's messes as they are and call HER to deal with HER OWN mess, that guy must be a "man child" living in mommy's basement. Sure, single mommy, sure. I highly recommend consulting a family law attorney, because laws and court climates differ from place to place. There is a chance you'll be ordered to pay support to this woman and her children even though the kids aren't yours and even if you haven't married her.
Not even presents, unless they are independent adults. The holidays are here, so Only refer to it as mine. Really, you should stop having sex with her immediately. You need to get out of the situation.
Useful why dating a single mom is a bad idea that necessary
Ten months is not so long that the kids will be traumatized, but it still might be good to announce your departure from the situation in a "family" therapy situation, or at least a couples counseling session. If you're living with her, get some buddies to help you get your stuff out of there unless it is your house when she and the kids are not there.
Ideally, you should have some other place of your own all ready for you, but if not, use storage and a friend's place. This is true. There are genuinely nice guys out there obviously not you, the blogs author, or half these morons commenting. Single mons have to be extra careful of who we let in our lives. Think single mom's aren't good enough to date? Thanks for making it easier to pick you out.
What an idiot, single women have no right to "pick out" men, no man is lining up for a whore who cold not keep her legs closed to the wrong man Showing that negative bitter attitude does nothing to calm the single mom stigma. It all comes down to preference.
I think if you're a single guy with options, no debt, no baggage, a good job and a commitment to making the best of yourself, a single mom represents baggage from another relationship that is not attractive, is restrictive and for which there is no attractive cost-benefit ratio.
The fact is taking on a single mom, you are exponentially increasing that risk with the kids, exes, in-laws etc. Not to mention the sudden life style change for a single guy with no kids to all of a sudden take on all that. That's just asking for drama and future therapy sessions. Single mom's are bad news Women don't get it. Divorce laws are really out dated.
Boys plenty of women with no children out there! Excellent blog, and totally spot-on! I live and blog about an area called The White Trash Mecca. Here, we have thousands upon thousands of single mothers, and I can count on one hand the number I've seen that would even be worthy of dating. Worst of the worst. Unfortunately, there are absolutely no women here past the age of 18 without kids, so lots of good guys simply have to be some single and go their own way. You weren't her first choice of a man.
She chose somebody else. Some guys just don't get it. I am a single mom because of domestic violence. I fianlly had the courage to leave my abuser with my two little ones. It was the hardest thing I've ever done.
I ended up in a homeless shelter. Now I have my own car, apartment, and good career and have absolutely no help from anyone. I am the sole provider for my little family and I am prpud of that. Everytime i put food on the table or pay my rent and bills, I feel a great sence of empowerment. I've made my share of mistakes and I know I probably don't deserve to find love again.
I understand that in most cases, this article sadly speaks the truth. I also know sometimes there are are exeptions. For now I am happy and am not looking for love.
I think that is the trick for ANY relationship. You have to be completely content with who you are ALONE instead of looking for someone to 'complete you'. You don't 'need' a man, but it would be beautiful to love again and be loved in a different way than your kids love you. Great job on recovering after such a hard life blow. Your kids are blessed to have you for a mother and any man that does find himself in your good graces is lucky to have you. Silvana, sorry but you got pregnant with an abusive guy, dumb, 2 times?
Are you serious, what is wrong with people like you? Should have aborted the first and left immediately, but i bet he said he loved you while hitting you and your not smart enough to distinguish between which was true, if thats the case you let it happen and got what you were asking for.
I bet because of how you are your letting him off without child support payments and he doesnt even have to spend time with the bastards. Feel powerful all you want but these are the traits of a doormat not a strong woman!
What do you think of this article being called 'why you shouldn't date NEEDY people' instead of just single moms. There are plenty of single mom's who are very independent and don't NEED another man.
Unfortunately, many single mom's are struggling. But why only women? What if the tables were flipped? Would you still be making the same comments? Silvana- First of all, congratulations for wising up and protecting yourself and your children from an abuser.
And congrats on your success since. It is not a matter of "deserving" love or not. I hope you find all the love you want once your kids are raised. Having done so well for yourself, you'll be in a much better position than someone who acts out of desperation. As to your second comment I have no idea what it is like to date a guy, let alone a single father. However, many of the same principles apply. A man with minor children should not be introducing any new lovers of his to those children.
The "needy people" idea is a good one. If someone is dating for marriage, they should not fool themselves. Marriage is largely a business matter, and it doesn't make sense to go into business with someone who has a bad track record. A lot of men aren't raising kids alone because courts won't give them custody, because they have a penis.
Another reason, for other men, is that they never wanted to be a father in the first place. It turned out to be a matter of "her body, her choice". His choices ended far before hers did. Yes, such men are foolish to risk the possibility of pregnancy in the first place. Why are there far more articles advicing against dating single moms but not single dads? Ariel, if you mean on this blog, it is because this blog is a male perspective. I make it clear on this blog that parents of minor children, regardless of their sex, should not introduce their new lover s to their minor children.
Thanks for spreading the truth Ken! Yes anyone, unless otherwise widowed, who has children out of wedlock are irresponsible and should be avoided with all cost. I suggest they met and marry someone like themselves. Ken everything you said is spot on and this is the reason why the matriarch of traditional families are deteriorating. I've been there and done it twice, shame on me, there will not be a third time.
I tried to get these women a chance and I learned the same thing twice. Don't even get to know them. Single parenting is unnatural. Thanks for responding Ken. I appreciate your input. Rejecting me because I have children has every single thing to do with me.
I am a mom. My motherhood is not a separate island off the coastline of myself. It is part of me. Arguably the very best part of me.
I'll give this a try and if I don't like it, I'm outta here! I try not to be bitter. We're all human. Can I really fault a guy for liking me so much he goes against his instincts that tell him he's not fit for blended family life? I've got a healthy ego. I'd love to be the one to change his mind! Yet it's pretty silly that we treat the intersect of romance and children as such an exotic unknown, one worthy of tip-toe trepidation.
After all, it's not like I'm raising feral unicorns in my attic, or foster-parenting gnomes. I am a human mother raising human children, the most fundamental essence of humanity, familiar to all, including every single man on OKCupid, who, presumably, was once a child himself. On the flip side, I do think it is possible to change a guy's mind though I don't suggest banking on it.
A few years ago I had a mini-session with dating coach Kavita Patel, who stands out among her peers as a remarkable insight into dating and relationships overall, and has an intuitive power that is slightly freaky.
I'm not interested in changing anyone's mind!
Then he can be open to dating a woman with a family. Last year for a few months I dated a man who was in his early 40s, divorced but with no kids. We were a mismatch for zillions of reasons, but of anyone I've ever been involved with, he appreciated my motherhood more than any other man. He also admitted to discounting a relationship with a single mom before crossing my path. Fast-forward to today, and I am in a 3-year relationship with a dad who loves that I am a mom, enjoys long days with me and my two kids, running between soccer games and theater practice and sleepover drop-offs and the rest - more than I do myself, often.
He's hot, successful and my friends join me in thinking I won the jackpot. When, a year or so in, we had a big relationship talk, and voices went low as two middle-aged people who have been through the ringer each made our best efforts to put baggage aside and be vulnerable in our needs, he held my hand across the dining room table as my kids slept in a room adjacent, looked me in the eye, and said:. There are a lot of sexist assholes out there, and you don't need to know what they think.
I will save you from your fears that no good guy wants to date a single mom. Not only have I dated a lot of amazing men who either don't care that I'm a mom, or love the fact that I am one, I also have met and know of thousands and thousands of women who are also mothers who have found love, fun, companionship and partnership after becoming a mom.
But what do the haters say? All those asswipes who swear off single moms? I will share here to save you the trouble of sorting through that toxicity, and assure you that you don't have to worry. You know, stuff that children say when their feelings got hurt and they are too underdeveloped to manage their feelings. So they lash out.
Ever thought about online therapy? Way cheaper, convenient, private by text, voice or video counseling - perfect for single moms. Top online therapy sites - which is the best? Check out a dating app. This is the easiest, cheapest way to get your mojo back, and get a feel for what is happening out there. All you need to do is connect with one cute guy to get that spark going again. Online dating is one of the best things in the world for single parents - time and money efficient, and you can even do a background check a woman before you go out with her!
Ready to start dating? Looking for a serious relationship? Our No. I did a lot of research on It's Just Lunch, and went through the onboarding process, which you can listen to in audio, and read the transcript. Here is what I like about it:.
Ready to try online dating? Emma's Top Single Mom Resources. Just started dating a childless manhe is a sweetheart but I am having problems balancing both. Seeing him and booking a sitter. And idk how long before either I just decide to maybe move on.
He has told me I am welcome to bring kiddos but they are very young and our relationship is very new. Moms and guys need to be honest with one another. I know this sound redundant. You have to respect and honor eachother. Guys should always be on the alert from woman.
Very simple reason, many out there wants a hot guy and to be successful. I know people like that. No question that there are fair share of lousy man out there. Real man and a real woman will not put up with medicare people.
So be strong and make something good out of yourself and not a blob of fat. Very interesting article, I am a childless man who is going to try and date a single mother.
I saw this out there casually browsing around and it makes sense thank you. He never invites me to his family gatherings or his kids sporting events. I made a big deal of always asking him to come to my kids events as well as family events.
He rarely did and then just stopped so I quit asking. I have brought this to his attention how it makes me feel that he never invites me or even me and my children to his family events. I barely know his family and my kids have only ever meant his parents and his sibling because his sibling resides with him.
It took me many times of bringing up the fact that he never invites me or my kids and its weird. Cousins have gotten married and kids have been born and I have never meant them or the spouses. So he recently started inviting me and yes I mean only me.
Well lets just say being there is very awkward half the time no one speaks to me and the only ones that do are his aunts and uncles or his parents or grandparents his cousins who are around are age do not speak to me, unless I try to start a conversation.
I truly feel they see me as this snob of a person who choses not to come around even though that is not the case I have just never been invited. And he does every holiday at his families house. Mothers day he spent the night before but left early because they were having family get together as they do every holiday. The opportunity for me and my kids to move has come along and he wants us to move in, but how is that going to work. I can be very stubborn and I am not going to have us split every holiday apart doing our own thing.
HIs cousins baby shower over a year ago I guess I was invited but he never told me till the day of it. I know nothing about them. Or am I just being stubborn? I wouldn't pursue it lightly that's for sure. It's a problem for many reasons for me. The main reason is that I'm not interested in putting in the effort it takes to raise a kid if it's not mine - and I do have my own. Then there's the awkwardness of the Father's involvement, the arguments that can cause.
My parents split when I was young, and a few years later she met my stepfather. I know plenty of other people my age raised the same way, and it's always the same. Awkwardness between the Father and the stepfather, awkwardness between the stepfather and child, awkwardness if the Mother and stepfather have more children. It causes a lot of issues for the kid a lot of the time - it did for me. I still have some bad feelings toward all three of them.
I could never be part of that. HuckleberryHound Xper 5. Since there are some people who are just inept, mentally, to deal with kids, I could how this opinion could arise, but keep in mind, its just certain peoples opinions. I don't know why you'd allow yourself to miss out on the experiences based on misguided information. Those are the opinions that should go in one ear, and right on out of the other. I love kids and that was never really a problem for me. My ex had two when we met and now has two more.
We were together seven years before we had our first together. We ate better friends now. Before her, I dated two other women that had children as people get older you tend to meet others that have had children the older you get the more you meet up with. As I'm sure you know. They don't want the kids? It's obvious. Did you know that some male animals will eat the young of their own specie?
That's also why females are extremely protective of their young.
It's coded into our genes. We don't like kids of other males. We can force it because we are human and we don't act with our hearts but our brains. But deep down inside, our heart is saying it's not the same. I believe you should have a fair chance at dating and I wouldn't exactly mind it for myself as long as the person is worth the effort.
It's neither if you are mature, you don't mind not being the first and you don't mind a child you raise being someone else's. So don't go out of dating business :. The app is malfunctioning and won't let me see your full comment :l. McDonald Xper 1.
I think if you're a single guy with options, no debt, no baggage, a good job and a commitment to making the best of yourself, a single mom represents baggage from another relationship that is not attractive, is restrictive and for which there is no attractive cost-benefit ratio. Most guys who want kids, want their own. A man who willingly and responsibly takes on another woman's children for child-rearing purposes is a very selfless individual. As explained, there's no incentive for a guy who has his life together to become this selfless and if he has high self-esteem, he wouldn't consider it in the first place.
Sorry if this piece of honesty is hard to take, but honesty is always the best policy. BigDaddy75 Xper 6. Wow any man or women that pulls that crap is very selfish and immature and doesn't deserve any time from that person I feel if the person can't accept the other person having a kid can't respect the person and needs to be told bye bye a single parent doesn't make them less than if anything it show show the person you can handle responsibility.
Nice one : I feel the same. Anon-ymous1 Guru. What are you saying "obviously, I wouldn't date younger. Anyway, big "nope" to that, for several reasons; one is that if I'm dating someone, I want to be the most important person to them, potentially.
With a mom, you are always, always going to be second best in terms of attention. Her primary focus is her offspring.
That's very off-putting to most people who want to date someone, and that's not their fault. HuckleberryHound Unless that doesn't happen, obviously. Xper 4. It's not a bad idea. But it takes a lot effort to make it work. I'm single dad and i have my own ways to raise kids and so does single moms. It's hard to find a way to raise kids that both agree with. Especially if they've been raising their kids alone for a long time. Like me. Yes, you're right.
Mine is 15, so perhaps I shouldn't call him a kid. But I'm counting only to 3 now. Xper 5. I think a lot of men have silly hang ups when it comes to single mothers, and to be honest I don't know why, I myself have no issues with dating and having long term relationships with a woman who has children already, I can understand that they might not be very confident in their own parenting skills, but it's trial and error to me, whether they're your biological offspring or not, and to rule someone out because they have a child or children is just weak minded to me.
Livinglogical Xper 6. I don't like kids but it wouldn't put me off dating a single dad It wouldn't bother me if they called me mum provided their actual mum wasn't still about. I mean seriously who cares, you accept as much or as little responsibility as you like. Its the person you are dating, not their kid.
Its only abig deal if u make it one. Besides, another person in your life is probably a blessing right enough This is a tough place for a poll like yours as so many guys here are really just boys still living with their own mom.
I dated single moms when I was young. Wonderful women and I had not problems that they had children. You sound fantastic. Keep yourself in the dating pool. You may make some guy very lucky. So nice of you : Thanks for your comment!
I dated two women with children and both times it was bad. Honestly all situations and relationships are different. Saoirse Xper 1. Single mums bring up delinquints. They and single dads are causing the breakdown of society. They are irresponsible and use men on a conveyor belt for sex. They do mot appreciate relationships and they are married to the state.
I should be allwed to detract taxes. There are many factors to consider, finance, the relationship of your girlfriend and her ex, the age of the kids involved. I have had these issues and I was not able to fully comprehend a solution, I found out in the end I was a lie, a secret rendezvous, I would have to approach it differently next time.
It's important you respect the position of your new lover if you have a past that involved marriage and kids, you will easily scare this guy away. At the end of the day, a single Mom brings nothing to the table that a girl that is single and without kids bring. So given the choice, it's purely illogical to pursue a single Mom.
I would date a single mom, I'm dating her not the child. If you end up falling love you will love the child too. Wouldn't date one. No way, no how.
Response: 4 Reasons To Date a Single Mom... As told by a man.
There is absolutely no reason to waste time on a single mother. Maybe just try meeting really matured guys mentally as I can tell you that a lot of guys are insecure about even dating someone with no kids and are probably more afraid of so called "package deal". But your poll is in favor of you dating? Yes, I know, I try to do like this.