I just found out that my wife cheated on me while we were dating. Her excuse is that we were fighting and she got drunk and can't remember how it happened, which I just can't believe! She says she didn't want to do it, but didn't know how to leave, again sounds like a bunch of crap to me!! This was about 6 years ago and we have been married for almost 4 years and have 2 kids. I realize it was a long time ago and she swears it hasn't happened again, which I do believe, but I just can't get the mental image out of my head. I love her and do not want to leave, especially with 2 kids, but I just don't know how to forgive her and move on. My advice is to not move past it.
Wife cheated on me while we were dating
When she comes back I secretly inspect under her undies and sometimes could find sticky fluids. I was later told by a friend that my wife had an affair a man when we were then dating.
The man my wife cheated before marriage with had just pass on. He told me things which took place in our bedroom. I can not go into details but these things he said were all true.
I asked him from where these story came from and he told me the man with whom my wife had the affair told a friend of his and from friend he got the story. I have since asked her but she strongly denied the story. So should you divorce her? If she is a changed girl and will remain faithful for the rest of the marriage then keep her.
The person you should rather breakup with is your friend. I know I sound silly, but he should have told you this before you got married.
Unhappy marriage? Yes i really blame the friend her and you too if he knew it all along why not tell before and even your self agreed u suspected her when she was your gf. But i think as you saying you married recently you have better chances to get the things to put in right track.
Dont live in doubts ask her on face, what is happening.
Find is there any wrong from your side. She said when she left him she never looked back and has been very happy with me ever since. She swears that she has been faithful to me since she came back to me in 96 and has never talked to him or been with anyone else but me. I truly believe her.
My trouble is that I feel like my life has been based on a lie. If I would have found out what happened when she came back I wouldn't have married her. Now after being with her for twenty three years, sixteen and a half years of that being married to her with two children, I feel like I need to stay with her and my children.
She's been a good wife.
I believe her when she saids she's been faithful since we've been married. She gets mad with me when I bring it up to her. I asked her for details and she says that she doesn't remember. We started seeing a marriage counselor about a month ago. She made it to one session and I by myself for another.
My problem with that is that the counselor keeps canceling on me due to weather and other things. I feel trapped and I need some direction.
I've had everyone emotion there is come over me. I've cried almost every day since I found out. I've recently thought about finding someone to cheat on her with. It seems that when I think of her with someone else, it goes away when I think of me with someone else. I know that it will do more harm than good, but it sucks feeling this way all the time. I've read message boards that have said this never goes away and that scares the crap out of me.
She got away with it and here I am with no one to talk to. Has anyone else been through this and can anyone tell me what I should do? I've read books on forgiveness and I do believe that I have forgiven her, but the pain and sadness overwhelm me every day. I need some direction. Replied by jnj express on topic Wife cheated during engagement 17 years ago. Your problem is that to you this didn't happen 17 yrs agoit happened last week, or whenever she told you The foundation that your mge was built onis a house of cards, that has tumbled, your wife has cheated on you the last 17 yrs based on OMMISSIONshe has lied to you for 17 yearsshe talked to you every day, when you were split apart from herand then spent the rest of her day with her lovershe has misled, deceived, and lied to youand she then comes up with some BS justification, that ain't gonna fly.
From this point if you do heal, and that is an ifit will take 2 to 5 yrs of hard work - what you are dealing with is your sub-conscious, which is now gonna run wild imagining this, that, and everything else.
She has to understand that to you her cheating is as if it just happenednot 17 yrs agobut just yesterdayyou were engagedyou were committed-and she gave herself to another manand then lied about it, each and every time she talked to you on the phone, and has tried to take this deep dark dirty secret to her grave.
Posts Karma: 49 Thank you received: Replied by Alone I Stand on topic Wife cheated during engagement 17 years ago. Hmm Reggie This is a rough one I am trying to put myself in your shoes and try and image what I would feel if this was me.
I think I would feel as you do my married was built on lies. I am sure I would not recognize my wife. I would wonder if she was with me because he did not want to be with her. I understand why you wife will not tell you what you need to know.
The same reason my wife held back so much.
Protest against wife cheated on me while we were dating all
They feel that if they were to tell us the truth it would make it worse. What you need to make her understand is that stop trying to protect you she is only hurting you and what you need is the truth. Without the truth you are left with mind movies. And trust me they can be horror movies. Listen you have 17 years invested to what you say is a faithfull good woman.
Well faithfull based on after marriage. You have children and a life together. You cannot just jump off the deep end. You should take a weekend look at everything. The good the bad and the ugly.
I am going anonymous for obvious reasons. This very scenario happened to me and my now ex-wife. By and large, the marriage was not a happy one as she was the type of person who had borderline personality disorder. She was never happy with the bles. Sep 17, The man my wife cheated before marriage with had just pass on. He told me things which took place in our bedroom. I can not go into details but these things he said were all true. I asked him from where these story came from and he told me the man with whom my wife had the affair told a friend of his and from friend he got the story. May 01, Hi all, (and sorry for the long story) I'm a newly married husband and my new wife just told me that she cheated on me while we were dating. We started dating in high school and I thought we had the perfect relationship. We were very intimate and had even discussed getting married after graduating college.
Come to terms with it and then approach your wife with what you need to move foward. Let her know your marriage depends on if she is willing to give you whatyou need or not.
Without a consequence what good are rules. Good lock and sorry your in this position. It is what it is Life is just to damn short Replied by Reggie40 on topic Wife cheated during engagement 17 years ago. Thank you JnJ and Alone.
Apr 01, I just found out that my wife cheated on me while we were dating. Her excuse is that we were fighting and she got drunk and can't remember how it happened, which I just can't believe! She says . I'm 36 and my wife is We dated for 8 years before our marriage. We did have pre-marital sex. Recently, my wife admitted to me that she had had premarital sex with three other men while we were dating. Two of the men were one night stands (college vacations) and the third was a man she dated briefly while we were broken up for three months. Wife cheated during engagement 17 years ago was created by Reggie I found out 2 months ago that my wife of sixteen and half years had an affair while we were engaged. She finally told me about it after she was diagnosed with HPV. I have never been with anyone else and I thought her only with me. Flashback to
I appreciate your comments and suggestions. I've been reading other posts with your comments. You both seam to have good suggestions.
I've been waiting to see if anyone else would chim in with any more words of wisdom. I took Alone's advice. We went away on a long weekend without our kids.
She had something out of town that I joined her with. What I'm finding out is that she seams to be getting more upset with me when I bring up just small little questions.
For instance, I asked her if the first time she kissed him was the first time they had sex. She said, I don't remember, it's a blur. That's all I get with every question.
She saids "It was so long ago I don't remember and I don't want to remember". I'm starting to ask my self why I'm so currious about what happened. I don't know if it will help me or not.
Why Did You Cheat? Couple Confronts Each Other On Infidelity - Iris
The MC also said that I should put my energy into today instead of trying to understand the past. The reason that I would like to know more is that I would like to understand how she was able to be seduced away from me so that I can be more aware if it ever happends again.
Here wife cheated on me while we were dating can not take
I asked her tonight if she could tell me their story. How it started, what did he know about me, how did they talk, did they socialize and so on. I have never cheated on her. Honestly, I wish she would have never told me. What you don't know can't hurt you. Am I wrong in feeling hurt that my wife cheated on me during our courtship? Is the fact that she told me this her way of saying she loves me? Dear Alan, How you feel is perfectly understandable. I think almost anyone, male or female, would feel like you, and be worried by pangs of jealousy and doubt.
Just the same, I think that you make the matter worse for yourself than it needs to be, by the language you use. Try and rewrite your letter in neutral language, avoiding words like 'cheat' and 'one-night stand'.
It might read something like this: 'My wife and I have been married for two years. We have had a monogamous dating relationship for four years before that. In the preceding four years, I was committed to her, but she experimented around before committing herself to me. Some people are adults at 18, but many are still emotionally very young.
I have had many clients in their mids who had an affair although they still loved their spouse. Invariably, they entered a monogamous relationship while still very young, then 15 to 20 years later they felt they had missed out on something.
Wife cheated on me while we were dating and shame! This
Temptation came along, and against their best judgment they gave in to an impulse. Had your lady 'shopped around' before she met you, she might not have felt the need later.
This was your situation. You knew you wanted her rather than the women you 'sampled' previously, but she had no such basis of comparison.
In four years, she'd had three sexual experiences. One of them was while she and you had temporarily broken up.
Solved. wife cheated on me while we were dating information true
The other two were at a time when she was dating you, having fun together, but she had made you no promises. Then, for six years, she has been monogamous, with you, and she felt sure enough of her feelings to marry you. I think things are not as bleak as they might appear to you.