From the many non-fulfilling relationships as a chronically ill person, I have noticed that they were all flawed in the same ways. Even throughout social media, people with chronic illness are misrepresented in the dating world. With these experiences, I have compiled 10 main ideas that are misconceptions, and ways and ideas that a non-chronically ill person can do to support their partner with a chronic illness. However it is not the case. There is nothing romantic about being sick, or two teens dying from cancer. Get to know my illness. This is a major way to support someone in a relationship with chronic illness because it is something that will be there forever.
Dating someone with a chronic disease
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Jan 15, Dating with chronic illness is hard for sure, and there were times when I felt truly undateable. Self-care is still my number-one priority. But there are many things I . Mar 14, What It's Like to Date a Woman With a Chronic Illness. Early in Zack's relationship with Cara, she warned him that due to her chronic illness, a connective tissue disorder called Marfan Syndrome, some days would be easier than others. After all, she'd already had 18 surgeries in 29 years. When dating someone with chronic illness, there will likely be bad days that will test your relationship. The bad days can be bad for me with such a extreme amounts of pain, needing help with everything, or a bad diagnosis. All of these bad days can make me snap, say, or do things I wish I did not do.
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As a Spouse of Someone in Chronic Pain
Hi Katie, relationships can make or break when something so stressful such as chronic illness comes along, especially when the couple had a difference existence before then. Great post! I enjoyed reading this and it is so important for everyone who has a chronic illness to be reminded that we have to love ourselves more. As you said, it is not for everyone and there is nothing wrong about that but I would definitely do it.
Great post really. I am happy that I am able to read this beautiful and interesting article today. Agreed, Catherine!
I can imagine this would be very hard to navigate. Thanks for sharing your experience. Hard things can make people more compassionate. You can encourage alot of people because of your experiences. Thanks for your thoughts, Katie! I would absolutely date a person with a chronic illness.
Apr 04, There is no doubt that a person with chronic illness will need more help than someone who is healthy just to get by. Many situations might test your patience, question your love and flirt with your morality. But no human being is truly independent anyway; just cut off their oxygen supply for a .
I have chronic illnesses and my husband has a rare bone disease that has no cure. We both experience pain and have bad days in very different ways, but our imperfections have helped us create a ton of empathy for each other.
Apologise, dating someone with a chronic disease useful
Hi Emmy, thanks for sharing your story. I know someone with a rare degenerative bone disease too, and can only imagine how terribly painful and limiting it must be.
I am glad you both are there for each other. People can be ignorant, and it does make things harder. Sending gentle hugs from here x. I agree that dating someone with a chronic illness is not for everyone. One needs to be realistic when considering it. Exactlyalthough when the match is a good one, it can make for some of the most meaningful experiences ever.
When I first started dating my spouse he was healthy, I was not. And it was totally a non-issue for him even though over time it has caused us both a lot of stress.
Over time though he has had cancer and he has gastroparesis so technically we are both chronically ill his cancer was treated via surgery.
And I understand him and he understands me. I remember meeting my husband and felt so self-conscious about my problems. He just accepted everything that came our way and helped me when I needed help. And, 27 years later, still does.
There are good people out there who make the best partners. An old friend of his gave him lots of praise when he found out I was disabled. Not a disability. The disability just happens to come along with me.
Haha no worries on going off tangent, good to hear more thoughts! All six of them are so different, and these three new babies even are starting to develop their own differences.
And I had no idea you were married for 27 years! And thanks for giving us all hope! Been ill for many years, chronic pain, and always broke. There is not one single person in my personal life who cares two cents about me, so once the kids are grown, which is soon, I want to get a house out in the woods in the middle of no where and just he alone. The hurt, every day, is too painful to bear, so why try.
Not someone like me. So, being a hermit at the moment is my only goal. And for those who reply back and say. For those who have found someone, must have money then. And getting help? People only want to be around me if I help them. If I need help, they run. Unless I pay them. I wish you well, and will be happy to lend a listening ear online, if you need.
Take care x. This is a good thing to think about for everyone. Hi Mandy, yes very true. It stings when you realise a partner will only stick with you when things are going well.
You all just covered so many fears that have been restricting me from even allowing a relationdhip since knowing my illness. Since my own diagnosis of kidney disease at the age of 35, dating has been tortuous and has yielded no results.
As a 50 year old man struggling to make a sincere connection in a large cosmopolitan city like Toronto, I am often confronted with women who seem more intent on finding a partner that meets their list of expectations.
That is a shopping list of qualifications for Mr. Honestly, this is extremely frustrating and humiliating. Do I have to adjust my perspective here or am I doomed as a man to suffer quietly? Should I focus on dating women with a disability? Maybe join a kidney disease support group?
I would prefer to socialize with healthy people and not dwell in the world of illness and disease; it tends to be self-absorbing and morose which I am equally guilty of.
We can sit here and write about how kindness and compassion needs to be practised, but this culture is not always nice and tends to kick people who are down and out. Should I even keep trying? Why should I bother? Sincerely Getting bitter and angry. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here.
Similar situation. dating someone with a chronic disease what
But I do believe that there is someone for us all out there, and also what goes round comes round. Perhaps perhaps! I wish you all the best in your journey, and feel free to keep in touch over social media! Or have sex, or a conversation, or swap jokes, or share a meal, either. Certainly makes life simpler and quieter if nothing else, on the positive side. Even if there is a disturbing lack of choice involved.
Hi Bruce, thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. Whatever will be will be, and life leads down other interesting paths sometimes!
Congratulate, dating someone with a chronic disease will not
Thank you for sharing this. My wife and I both have had issues with dating prior to our relationship. There ere a lot of factors that have helped us on our journey together. She and I both were caregiviers to ill relatives prior to our relationship, and we both have physical and mental disabilities that have made ie it difficult in other relationships.
The difference is that we support each other no matter what. So neither of us are able to walk very well, but we are both warriors and fight daily to live our lives to the fullest. Additionally she is bipolar and has anxiety, while I suffer fro severe depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I handle the household chores and she manages the finances as neither of us are capable of working and we rely on her disability check every month.
But we have discovered that we are better together than we ever were apart. My family thinks the world of her, and her children who are close to my age have always accepted me with open arms, as I am the only husband she has had since her disability who truly treats her with love and respect. We have decided that we will be married until one of us passes away no matter what. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and share your personal story with me!
Wishing you and those you love a happy and meaningful life ahead! Enjoyed your article so much! Just a little background on me-diagnosed with severe JIA in at the age of 8. When I met my husband in college, I remember how his mother reacted when we announced our engagement.
I overheard her questioning him because of my RA. We married in Ironically, my husband was diagnosed with MS in We have a very loving and strong marriage-we also take care of each other!!!
My partner and I have been together since we were 20 and he was diagnosed with MS at He told me to walk away if wanted to but it honestly never crossed my mind.
I was very sick myself for a while and he was there every step of the way. He supported me through college and has been my biggest supporter and my rock and i always maintain that my degree is our degree. We are definitely equals in our relationship.
Thank you for sharing part of your life with me. This was a very interesting read thank you. I do not suffer from a chronic illness but would not find it a barrier. Physical and son psychological issues are not what I would call barriers to stop love.
However I have a slightly different twist, can I as a single person expect someone to take on my responsibilities, I have a sick sibling who ultimately will be totally dependent on me? This has caused major tension and breakup of previous relationships. Its not just the people who are sick that struggle.
Wishing you all health, wealth, love and happiness x. It definitely is a struggle for caregivers too. I met my now husband after being diagnosed.
I told him straight away and he made no promises. I have subsequently got much worse and we deal,with what life brings together. There are still no promises.
As would I. No one is perfect and sometimes it gets to us both.